Catching Up (Is Hard to Do)

It feels like lately I’ve been on a constant race trying to catch up with my exploding calendar, and my calendar is winning. I know it’s the end of the year and I’m sure everyone’s schedule just got busier than ever, but I can’t remember a time I’ve been this busy. But then again I can’t remember what I had for breakfast! For us, this past week included many highs and lows – a ballet recital for our littlest one (who’s not so little any more) preceded by intense dress rehearsals (she did beautifully and we couldn’t be more proud of her!); our front screen door breaking off with a sizable chunk of our exterior trim destroyed,  followed by desperate calls to our handyman; picking up my mom from Boston Logan for her much anticipated (by all of us) annual visit…and that’s just a fraction of it all.  It is all good now, but it has been one of those weeks where you find yourself lying in bed in the middle of the night going over your to-do lists and praying you’ve got everything covered! Obviously I hadn’t, because I missed Friday’s post 🙂

However, I dislike being a no-show and I’d like to make it up to you the best I can by sharing a recent book discovery that has me obsessed. This is a book that I feel might resonate with some of you!  Although it has no pictures of beautiful homes, in fact it barely has any pictures at all, it is in my opinion a wonderful aid toward creating one.  As an adult I have been interested in Feng Shui for as long as I can remember but have never seen material on it written as clearly or as compellingly as Karen Kingston’s book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. Funnily enough, this book has been in my library for at least four years now and I just happened to pick it up when I was attempting to clear some of our library clutter. I read a few pages and was hooked and basically inhaled the rest. At this point I’d like to clarify a few things before I continue. First of all, what is “clutter”? Many different images come to mind but according to Karen “clutter” is anything we don’t love or use (like presents we keep out of respect and a sense of duty but that we don’t actually love or enjoy), anything unfinished, things that are untidy or unorganized (hello dear basement, hello garage! I’m coming for you!) and having too many things in too small a space.

The second point I’d like to make is that I don’t think YOU NEED this book. I am not coming to you from a superior place telling you to clear your possessions. In fact I am sure that many, if not all of you, have a better grasp on clutter than I ever had. What I am saying is that I NEEDED this book. It made me realize that holding on to items I no longer need or enjoy is not doing me any favors. Instead I now choose to let them go, lovingly, either by selling or donating them to someone who needs and will appreciate them better. And finally, this book made me realize I have something called inherited cluteritis, meaning I come from a long line of clutter-holics. You see, holding on to clutter is a learned behavior and those of us who have the clutter bug have most likely learnt it from the people we grew up with. I know I have, and despite having moved so many times in my adult life and using each move as an opportunity to sort through our belongings and release many of them, clutter somehow always found its way back to me.

It has been a short two weeks since I started implementing Karen’s principles and it has been life altering! Heaven sent! And it brought to mind an old Buddhist saying that I love “when the student is ready, a teacher will appear” and apparently exactly two weeks ago I was “ready”. Thanks to this book I managed to tackle something I’ve been trying to, without succeeding for years now, and that is looking at clutter from a different perspective. I am now parting with things that no longer work for the way I presently live but that I’ve somehow attached a part of my identity to – like the skinny jeans I wore in my twenties that I kept hoping one day I’ll be able to fit into again (like that will ever happen! 🙂 ), or all those little things I stored “just in case” we or someone else might need them. It might seem like minutiae but at a time when real estate is at a premium, keeping only the things we love and enjoy and use feels more like necessity than whim. 

Now, in case you’re still reading and are interested, the premise of the book is that we are energetically linked with everything we own and the more “clutter” we have, like invisible spaghetti strands, the more tangled these threads can become and the more they weigh us down on our journey towards self-discovery and personal growth.

Make no mistake, I have not become a minimalist over night, far from it. I still love and appreciate a home that is layered and rich and cozy, and filled with items that tell the story of the people living there, but I also love a home that is clean and orderly, and that functions like a well-oiled machine with everything having a place, a reason, and utility.

I’d also like to mention that I have read other books on the topic of clutter in the past, one of them being Julie Morgenstein’s Shed-When Organizing Isn’t Enough, and of course, The Magic of Tidying Up by acclaimed Japanese de-cluttering guru Marie Kondo. While they are great for their respective audiences, I loved Karen Kingston’s book more! It is not only liberating and eye-opening but also cleverly written in a way you won’t want to put it down. It is worth mentioning that Karen Kingston is a world-renowned expert in Feng Shui and is responsible for the development of its new branch – space clearing. Her book clicked with something within me and I hope if you’ll give it a try it will click with a part of you too. And it might have you clearing out drawer after drawer in no-time! To give you a general idea of why clearing clutter can have miraculous effects in your life, here are a few excerpts from Karen’s book that best illustrate its philosophy. 

“Every aspect of your life is anchored energetically in your living space, so clearing your clutter can completely transform your entire existence.” Makes sense, right?

“Life is constantly changing. So when an object comes into your life, enjoy it, use it well, and when it is time, let it go. It is that simple. Just because you own something doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever. You are just the temporary custodian of many things as they pass through your life.” I have found this easy to understand but slightly painful to do, but with practice I’ve gotten better…

“People hold on to their clutter because they are afraid to let it go – afraid of the emotions they may experience in the process of sorting through it, afraid they will make a mistake and later regret getting rid of something, afraid they will leave themselves vulnerable, exposed, or at risk in some way. Clearing physical clutter can bring up a lot of emotions, as well, and intuitively everybody knows it. 

 “However the rewards of clutter clearing are well worth it. Love and fear cannot exist in the same space, so everything you are holding on to through fear is blocking you from having more love in your life; clearing it allows love to start pouring in. Fear stops you from being who you truly are and doing what you came here to do; clearing clutter brings you greater clarity about your life’s purpose, Fear surpasses your vital force energy; releasing clutter helps reconnect you to your own natural vitality. Letting go of clutter leaves you free to be all you can be, which is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself.” 

This is not an affiliate post, I just really, really love this book! If you’re interested, it is available for purchase from various booksellers online and across the country, including Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Wishing you a great start to your week!